When Conversations die
by TheatrePlode
Summary: A series of short conversations between me The author and mainly the boys of D.gray-man and Bleach, purely to freak them out, humiliate and to brighten your mood. Other friends join in occasionally. Entirely for Humour. Minor Yaoi hints and Adulty Topics.
1. Ichigo's Intro

**Anyway, this whole thing depends on who is my MSN background and who is in my icon at the time. They're usually written when our big group conversations die and everyone stopped talking. Try it when your conversations go dead! Although, don't do it in real life...that would be weird, keep it virtual.**

**"L" is me. Megan is a friend of mine, Matt is her ex. Anyway, this was originally done June 17****th****, so imagine you are reading it then.**

**Ichigo is copyright of Tite Kubo, I'm not going to get into what I would do with him if I owned him.**

* * *

L: Hi Ichgio!  
I: Hey  
L: Whatchya doooing?  
I: Staring at this conversation  
L: Pervert  
I: its not like I can move my head! Im a drawing!  
L: Excuses, excuses  
L: Your eyes are kinda creepy  
I: again, its how I've been drawn  
L: Who's your dentist?  
I: Why?  
L: you got a good set of teeth, I want some  
I: I do....wait a minute! how do you know I have good teeth!?  
L: Hehe I have my ways  
L: Anyway, all anime characters have good teeth  
I: True dat  
L: You're taller than Matt  
I: How tall is he?  
L: I dunno, Matt how tall are you?  
I: They're set to "Away"  
L: Bummer  
L: Wonder where they are  
I: I'm not Megans MSN background, so I can't tell you  
L:.....pervert  
I: WHAT?! I just said I couldn't see!  
L: No....but you were obviously thinking about it  
I: *rolls eyes*  
L: Dont roll your eyes at me young man! OO! If I was taller i'd bitch slap that smirk of your face!! STOP SMIRKING  
I: You're so short  
L: AM NOT! Everyones just taller than me

~convo break~

I: I like Linkin Park  
L: Do you? They sound like a band you'd listen to  
I: Whats that supposed to mean?!  
L: Nuuuthin

~Convo Break~

L: Wahey! I found some yoai with you in Ichigo!  
I: For the love of god  
L: *Makes Yaoi face*  
I: Its weird  
L: You're Weird  
I: You've got an answer for everything dont you  
L: You weren't asking a question  
I: ¬_¬  
L: Quit your whining! or i'll change my MSN wallpaper!  
I: Good, I wouldn't have to talk to you!

L: At least I appear more than you  
I: Whats that supposed to mean?  
L: Mr-hasnt appeared in the manga for 7 weeks and hasnt appeared in the anime for past something like 19 weeks  
I: THAT LONG IN THE ANIME?!  
L: wow, even I'm surprised  
I: What the hell?!  
L: I didn't think it was that long. Mind you, I also watch the dub which has you in it at the moment  
I: at least something does....  
L: Aww, I would pat you on the back, but you're a drawing and the drawing doesnt include your back  
I: ¬_¬ Just my luck  
L: kinda feel for you  
I: Thanks  
L: wow, this is the longest time we've been civil  
I: eh?  
L: Nevermind


	2. Towel of Ichigo

**A/n: "H.C 3 AlthoughYouCouldHaveDoneMore says:" Is my friend. (duh)**

**Ichigo copyright to Tite Kubo, god knows what I'd do if I owned him...all the possibilities......undress him......marvel him......pair him with Grimmjow.....  
Ichigo: WHAT!?!?!**

* * *

L: Hey Ichigo!!  
I: Friends leave you? you're boring anyway  
L: BITCH  
I: I can't believe you just called me a bitch!  
L:....  
I: Not gonna talk to me now?  
L:....  
I: Fine, Sorry  
L : :) Okies  
I: it's quiet  
L: yup  
I: you having writers block?  
L: huh?  
I: you're taking a while to think of a conversation to two of us should be having  
L: Hmm, maybe I am  
I: Am I still in the anime or Manga?  
L: Nope, no sign of you  
I: argh  
L: you werent even in the dub this weekend, except the annoying recap at the beginning  
I: I like the recap  
L: Only because you're in it!  
I: Its the only screen time I'm getting!  
L: true, i think Kon is even starting to get more than you  
I: GODDAMN IT  
L: aww, i would hug you, but your only a drawing  
I: thanks...  
L: its ok, Megan said she'd look out for an Ichigo towel for me in New York!  
I: a whut?  
L: I can wrap myself up in 29.5 inches by 59 inches of pure Ichigo Muscle  
I:....err....  
L: :)  
I: Moving on  
L: cant take a compliment?  
I: shut up  
L: I rest my case  
I:...  
L: just think 29.5 x 59 inches of poor Ichigo muscle...to dry myself off with after a shower...I'll be naked....HAHA  
I:.......  
L: I know you're going red  
I: SHUT UP  
L: Helens Back!!  
I: THANK GOD, she'll stop talking to me

H.C 3 AlthoughYouCouldHaveDoneMore says:  
hii  
Sorry 2 Pull Her Off U Ichigo

Im backk

I: Thanks Helen

* * *

That was....creepy.

See, its genuinely done over MSN.

And my friend didn't get me an Ichigo towel....

Other Characters to come!


	3. Kanda Likes Rap

**A/n: KANDA IS HERE! I had Hit40UK on at the time. maybe a teensy bit OOC for Kanda, but hey! He must have a sex drive SOMEWHERE....just in the deep dark rotting bits of his brain.**

**Kanda and Ichigo copyright to Katsura Hoshino and Tite Kubo respectively. If I owned them...well....god knows. Well, heres a clue:**

* * *

L: i'm only talking to you guys atm  
I: whatever  
K: che, fuck off  
L: Harsh man, harsh  
I: whatever  
K: che, fuck off  
I: sugar babes are on  
K: In a cage  
L: Men ¬_¬  
L: its Ne-yo now  
I: who?  
L: beats me  
K: they all sound the same to me  
I: I think they are all the same person  
L: they dont have rap in the 19th century Kanda  
K: thank god  
L: Not a fan?  
K: *glares*  
L: Don't try that crap with me  
I: I don't know how you can take a glare from a guy with hair that long  
K: Say's the ginger....  
I: hey!  
L: Now now boys.

L: oo, Run's House  
I: *shakes head*  
L: What? it's mildly entertaining!  
L: when you come home are you met with stale odours?!  
I: What?  
K: I live in a castle......with hundreds of other people  
L: mmm, true. Ever thought about moving out? You're old enough  
I: I have  
L: Shut up you're the baby in this conversation  
I: ...  
L: P!nk get this party started, can any of you dance like that?  
I: I've never tried it...  
K: Does it look like I even dance, let alone dance like that!?  
L: You come off as rather flexible Kanda :P  
L: Oo, Lady GaGa has some nice shoes  
I: girls ¬_¬  
L: Don't pick on the only girl in this conversation!!

L: Kandas been silent for a while  
I: What would he be doing? hes just standing there  
L: Probably meditating  
I: .......do you also have the urge to disturb him?  
L: ....... Yes :D  
K: DONT TRY IT!  
L: it's not like you can run away, your my display pic.  
K: *glares*  
L: hahaha!! you cant even pick up Mugen!! YOU'RE STUCK!!  
I: I'm ending this right here!  
L: Aww :3 It's fun to Tease him.


	4. Is Kanda gay?

**New dude is here....dude....*sigh* Its Allen now! Moyashi is here! Oh, and the "S" is short for Stina, my niece.**

**The disclaimer was written before my birthday:  
All characters belong to their owners, if I owned them....well....BLEACH and -Man would be rated 18+ for a reason....wait a mo, that means even I couldnt watch it yet....good thing I dont own it then O.o **

**

* * *

  
**

L: Hello!  
I: hey  
K: ....  
A: HELLO!  
L: Wahey! a new guy =)  
K: great...  
A: What? really that glad to see me?  
K: Get lost Moyashi  
A: It's Allen!  
L: Can we please not argue..  
A: Bakanda  
K: Why YOU! *Unsheaths sword*  
I: O.O who are these guys?!  
L: Very good friends ¬_¬  
I: Then why are they arguing?  
L: Beats the SHIT outta me  
A: Sorry  
K: che.  
L: ooo, music videos are starting again  
I: Girls Aloud  
K: mmm Hmm  
A: *Blushes*  
L: Guys....¬_¬  
L: Love Machine, thats an old song  
I: Is Kanda meditating?  
A: Through the song?  
L: Is he really gay?  
K: IM NOT GAY  
A: You got a point there with the hair...  
K: IM NOT GAY  
L: Me thinks he protests tooo much  
L: Stina back!!  
I: And the femine features...  
K: IM NOT GAY  
L: You sure?  
K: YES  
L: Prove it!  
K: How the fuck am I supposed to do that!?  
L: Hmm, let me think  
I: I have a feeling we're gonna be used in some sort of way...

....

K: WELL!?  
L: beats me  
K: guh.  
L: Stina may have a way, Stina, you there?  
S: sorry i'm lookin at hamster things  
S: can dwarf hamsters and normal hamsters go together  
L: beats me, i've never kept hamsters  
K: What do hamsters have to do with it!?  
L: Everything  
L: OO OO OO! PROOF YOUR ARE GAY

*Insert Link for any LaviYuu Picture on DA*

K: THATS A DRAWN PICTURE!!  
I: Looks pretty real to me  
A: And is that....LAVI, Kanda, I had no idea  
L: I dont think Lavi does either  
K: THATS NOT PROOF  
A: Looks pretty conclusive to me.  
I: I agree  
L: same  
K: IM NOT GAY  
L: Denial now  
I: He looks like he could explode

...

A: Lets carry on and see if he does  
L: Thats kinda sick....LETS DO IT

...

L: can I just say something Kanda  
K: WHAT?  
L: You never said anything about it being Lavi  
K: *Boils up and Storms off*

....

L: :3 I win

* * *

**Anyone know the answer to the Hamster question?**


	5. Lust or Love?

**This is a short one. I sorta spazzed out because it was written.....12 minutes before my birthday. Which was the 23rd of December (yah! So my birthday is Christmas eve)**

**No Kanda in this one, he locks himself up in his room around the festive season.**

**Ichigo, Allen and Tyki are copyright to their owners. I owned them....BRING ON THE THREESOME**

**

* * *

  
**

L: HI ICHIGO MY STRAWBERRY PEADO FANTASY  
I:.....YOU'RE A FRICKIN PSYCHO!!  
L: AND YOU'RE STUCK FOREVER.....AS MY WALLPAPER.....OF LUSHNESS  
L: WE HAVE TYKI AND ALLEN JOINING US AS WELL  
I: Where?  
L: MY ICON YOU FRICKIN DUMBASS!  
I: oooohh......

...

I: SAVE YOURSELVES  
L: NO YOU DONT!!!

...

I: why aren't they saving themselves?  
L: they're too busy staring lovingly into each others eyes  
I: more like lustfully  
L: ICHIGO, I DIDNT KNOW YOU LIKED YAOI  
I: I DONT, I just know you  
L:.....and HOW do you know me?  
I: IM YOUR FRICKIN WALLPAPER  
L: im closing MSN down whenever I'm getting undressed from now on  
I:......  
L: YOU SICK SONUVABITCH

*points accusingly*

I: QUITE POKING ME!!  
A: Woah....there's a fight going on  
T: mmm  
A: ...  
T: let's go back to staring lustful- i mean lovingly at each other  
A:....ok


	6. Boys will be boys

**Phew, lots of uploading today.**

**This one was ACTUALLY WRITTEN TODAY XD. After this, they'll be updated on how often we have something to talk about.**

**Ichigo is copyright to Tite Kubo and Yu Kanda is copyright to Katsura Hoshino. If i owned them they would have hot mansex in my wardrobe  
K*I: WHAT?!**

**BUT! KANDA'S NICKNAME FOR ICHIGO IS ENTIRELY MY IDEA! XD YAH! I feel so proud....**

**Nice long-ish one :3**

**

* * *

  
**

I: wow, you really meant it when you said you were closing the window when you get dressed  
L: Duh.....pervert  
I: I am NOT a pervert!  
L: I had a conversation with my inner male today  
K: who was the pervert again?  
L: shoulda heard what we were discussing 3  
K: Do I wanna know?  
I: ....no....PLEASE DONT TELL U-  
L: the size of his penis  
I: ssss.....  
K: so shes the pervert  
L: nope, just curious  
K&L: *wide eyed and back up*  
L: you guys cant back up, YOU'RE STILL DRAWINGS XD  
I: crap  
K: shit  
L: such a potty mouth Kanda  
H: hello i am here u know  
L: Helen's here! wanna join in? always nice to have another  
I: shes quiet  
L: she always takes ages to reply  
K: how annoying  
L: get over it  
I: we have her *points to Lizi*  
L: .....you making a suggestion there Ichigo?  
I:.....no  
K: heh  
I: SHUDDUP YOU!  
K: heh  
I: OH SORRY, YUU!  
K: WHO YOU CALLING, GINGERBREAD?!  
L: Boys  
H: hello boys  
L: Helen, dont encourage  
I: yeah, Kanda's asexual anyway  
K: What?  
L: he really neads to get laid  
H: gutted  
K: I dont!  
H: i wanted to lick his chest  
L: you're making him blush  
K: IM NOT BLUSHING!  
L: i wanna trace that tattoo of yours.....with my tongue  
K:....grr....  
L: we cant forget Ichigo!  
I: Whut?  
L: gotta say, Ichigo does have more muscle than kanda  
K: *eye twitch*  
I: how do you know!?  
L: but i like the lean look of Kanda better  
K: *smirk*  
I: . . .  
L: and Kanda seems alot more flexible  
I: yeah, to give himself blowjobs ¬_¬  
K: WHAT?!  
H: i like his ginger hair  
I: Thanks Helen  
K: What were you suggesting by that comment gingerbread?  
I: oh nothing, just that you're a lonely asexual pet naming self pleasuring ass hole....  
L: boys  
L: mind you, gotta admit, you are a pet namer  
K: huh?  
L: well theres the Moyashi and usagi and now theres Gingerbread....  
K: Moyashi is a moyashi, Usagi is a usagi and Gingerbread is a gingerbread. I dont get it  
I: not the sharpest tool in the box  
L: mmm  
I: i think the box is sharper....  
J'P: b a chisel thn  
J'P: ther sharp  
K: that was lost on him  
I: Wow, that was intelligent  
K: Oh, I don't see you being smart Gingerbread  
I: im in the top 25 of my class  
L: ooo, check you  
K: not number one tho  
I: Pot calling the kettle black  
L:...um....Helens gone quiet (HELP ME)  
K: I saw that  
L: saw what?  
I: The help me  
L: THEY'RE GANGING UP ON ME  
L: not that im complaining....  
H: sorry jus fantasising  
L: about what?

L: HELEN  
L: Kanda, come up with a pet name for Helen  
K: I DONT GIVE PET NAMES  
I: oh? then what DO you give?  
K: I...uh...I give....mmm  
L: I wonder for you sometimes Yuu  
K: Dont call me that....  
L: why not  
I: Yuu Yuu Yuu Yuu  
L: you know, in that song 'Bad Influence' by Pink, theres a bit where she says "you" lots of times and I always think of you Yuu  
K: *raises eyebrow*  
L: Especially with my dancing Kanda icon  
K: . . .  
L: you're being rather docile tonight  
I: I think Helen drugged him  
L: Nah, i dont think so  
I: why not?  
L: because I drugged him  
K: what?!  
L: heh

* * *

**FYI: I did actually have an a conversation with my inner male, it went something like this:**

Me: Your penis is really small...  
Male: how do you know?! You've never seen!  
Me: EXACTLY!!

How many of you get it?


	7. Essence

**I'm back with another installment! This wasn't written on MSN but on my notepad while sat in a biology lesson today. Don't you love genetics? (NO)  
And yes, I really did get the idea to add Lavi when he says.....Odd things you think about.**

**

* * *

**

L: I'm bored, biology is boring!  
I: Then why did you take it?  
L: I was hoping to dissect stuff!  
I: What a reason...  
K: Seems valid to me  
L: Thanks Kanda!!  
K: Your welcome  
I: Since when we're you two good friends?  
L: Since biology became a drag?

L: Mind you, that's been true since the start of second year  
I: What you doing?  
L: wait a mo *looks at booklet that should be filled in...but isn't* Chi-square for genetics  
K: WTF?  
L: Beats shout outta me! You 2 are too distracting!  
K: Don't blame it on me, Gingerbread spoke first  
I: Traitor!  
L: Hey Ichi, I have a friend for you hoo~  
I:....who?  
G: Hey strawberry ;)  
I: WTF! Why the hell is he here!?  
K: Who's "G"?  
G: Who's "K"?  
L: Kanda meet Grimmjow, Grimmjow meet Kanda  
G: Hey  
K: The gingerbread seems to.....dislike you  
G: Gingerbread? We seem to share a similar relationship with the berry  
L: Nah, Kanda's asexual  
G: That's alright, I may be able to change that ;)  
K: Err....  
L: GrimmjowXKanda...now THATS hot  
K: WHAT!?  
I: Heh  
K: Fuck off Gingerbread!  
I: She started it!  
L: I'm a girl, its expected  
G: Now, now, there's plenty of Grimmjow to go around  
I: Asshole  
L: Me thinks Ichi-dear got a little jealous then  
A: Woah! Whats going on?  
L: Dunno, I think it's the effect of my sexy blue notebook...heh  
I: Funny how it's the same colour as Grimmjow's hair...  
L: Blue is a sexy colour!  
La: What about red?  
K: Who let the Usagi in?  
I: I did  
L: Explains where you've been  
La: Who's picking on my Yuu-Puu?  
K: Yuu-Puu?  
G: Why is he "La"?  
L: Well, Lavi also begins with an "L" and I've already claimed that, and unlike SOMEONE, this is my real name  
La: Yup....I'm shocked you thought to add me in when you excused yourself to go the bathroom  
L: Meh, shit happens  
G: "La" seems rather...effeminate  
La: What?!  
L: You are rather effeminate if you think about it...  
I: Kanda's the one with long hair  
K: Get lost Gingerbread  
La: Thanks Ichigo, us red-heads gotta stick together! (Lizi, you dope, you wrote "Read" not "Red" in your notebook!)  
L: (heh) Only 3% of the world are natural red-heads  
K: yeah, stick together, make a gingerbread house  
La: Then I'll lure you with me sweet, sweet essence Yu~  
I: This is getting a little adult  
L: Gotta be careful dudes, Ichigo is still a child and I have no idea how old Grimmjow is  
I: Yeah, how old are you?  
G: beats me  
L: he had to do all that evolving shiz  
K: old then  
G: Hey! Wiser with age!  
K: Appears you're the exception  
I: Not like you're the sharpest out there  
La: They always like this?  
L: Pretty much  
La: How do you cope  
L: Like this: ICHIGO, GRIMMJOW, KANDA IF YOU DONT SHUT IT SO HELP ME I WILL LOCK YOU IN A ROOM WITH A VERY VERY HORNY GROUP OF GIRLS....WITH BDSM TENDENCIES....GOT IT!  
I,G,K:...YES  
La: nice!.....can I get Yuu-Puu?  
L: Of course!  
K: Godamn it  
A: blasphemy!

* * *

**Anyone know how old he is?**


	8. Education

**Hello~ I'm back! This is a rather educational one near the end. Still keeping it Teen as many teens know the ins and outs**

**Characters have their owners, if I owned them, we'd all know who'd be teaching biology at my college**

**

* * *

**

L: GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS!  
I: Oh no  
K: God help me  
L: HELP YOU!? The teacher is making everything over complicated.....again, think they get paid extra for doing this.  
K: Maybe you're just stupid  
L: You seem to forget Kanda, I am the one who holds the pen. I have the power  
K: What?  
L: Kanda is now wearing a skimpy dress....nice manly legs by the way  
G: I'll say  
La: Ooo  
L: Lavi, there's drool all over the place now, sheesh.  
La: Sowwy  
K: GET LOST  
La: Are you wearing frilly underwear?  
K: . . . That's for me to know and you to NEVER find out Usagi  
La: . . . that mean you are?  
L: Don't worry, be thankful that I'm a girl, I'd rather see you in men's underwear  
I: More like naked  
L: Well, that is a more....exciting option  
La: Here here  
L: Looks like the majority vote  
K: WHAT!? NO!  
L: Oh Come on! For me! Biology teacher is piling on the homework, I need a distraction because I'm a procrastinator *sobs*  
La: You're making her cry  
K: I don't care  
L: Fine....teacher is trying to get us to focus anyway  
I: Why do you only do this in biology?  
L: becauuuaaasseee~ I actually HAVE to work in IT and I wouldn't get away with in chemistry, he has eagle eyes O_O

...

L: LOL "Random Matings", that's a technical term....no seriously  
G: Huh?  
L: AKA "Hiring a Hooker"  
La: -On impulse  
L: Who do you know that hired a prostitute and considered it an "impulse buy"?  
K: Probably himself  
La:......nooooo....Yu, you're the only one for me  
L: Funny how we're doing reproduction ¬_¬  
G: Not the good bits though  
L: Variation....urgh, Like I care!  
I: You took the subject  
L: Don't remind me  
A: What are the "good bits"  
L, La, K, G: *sigh*  
A: What!?  
La: Allen, Allen, Allen  
L: when a man and a woman love each other a lot (or not, see previous entry on "hookers") they-  
La: Mummy kissed Daddy and the Angel told the stork and the Stork dropped a diamond under the cabbage and the diamond turned into a baby!  
L:.....I was coming from a different angle  
A: What?  
G: When a man sticks his penis up a woman's vagina  
I: Usually in the throes of passion (again, see "Hookers")  
K: Without protection a man's sperm fertilises an egg from a woman and that baby turns into a squirt like you.  
A: oh, you mean the sex is the best bit?  
L: Yeah, geez Allen, Ichigo is the same age and he knows the birds and the bees. Even though birds and bees can mate but can't produce fertile offspring  
K: Usagi's explanation was wasted  
L: Thought you were the smart one Lavi  
La: Seems Allen isn't as innocent as he seems  
A: I'm not innocen- OH MY GOD KANDA WHY ARE YOU WEARING A SKIMPY DRESS  
L: Oohh yeah, forgot I left him like that  
La: probably because he was starting to get comfy, heh~  
K: . . . GET ME OUT OF IT NOW!  
L: Sorry, ending this chapter, you're stuck in it till I get bored again.

* * *

**Anyone else just totally NOT feel sorry for Kanda?**


	9. He may actually have a point

**And we are back! This is actually done in the comfort of my own home.....My friends are starting to think I've developed Multiple Personality Disorder.**

**I own not a single character! Except for the Bear (and myself, wonder why I've never thought of that before?), I do own that, he has a nice cushy place in my bed. If I did own everyone else, I'd own the shows/mangas and -man anime would still be carrying on, Grimmjow's whereabouts would be answered and the Bear would be an intricate part of the story**

**

* * *

  
**

La: Lizzzzziiiii~?  
L: Yes, Lavi-dear?  
La: I need some advice  
L: . . . . on what?  
La: Bedding Yu  
L: You know, if you said that aloud I would of considered it an offer  
La: Huh?  
L: Nothing~ Give me some specifics  
La: Well, I tried sweet talking him last night and it didn't work!  
L: . . . You snuck into his bedroom and got into bed with him at 3am didn't you?  
La: Mayyyyybe  
L: WELL NO WONDER, he was probably too busy having sex with you in his dreams to be happy about being woken up about  
La: But it was ME who woke him up! For real-life sex!  
L: How the hell was he supposed to know that at 3 in the morning!  
La: . . . good point. . . .But I need new methods!  
L: Have you tried asking him to dinner?  
La: Yes  
L: To a movie?  
La: We live in the 19th century, but Yes  
L: Taken him to bar?  
La: Yes  
L: Tried having a cosy movie night together?  
La: Yes and Broke Back Mountain helps your libido in no way  
L: Thanks for the advice. . . Got him into an alcohol induced state, slipped a little something something into his drink to help him . . . loosen up . . . then tied him down to bed with a variety between ropes, ribbons and fluffy black handcuffs so he can't attack you when he comes round then proceeded to use BDSM bear at ultimate efficiency?  
La: Surprising no. BDSM Bear?  
L: Started out as bondage bear, a birthday present for my 18th, a teddy bear with nipple clamps, blind fold, garter, suspenders, stockings and fluffy black handcuffs. But I have since added nipple piercings, an ear piercing and a spiked choker and bracelet.  
La: Could I borrow him?  
L: Of course!  
K: What are you two talking about?  
L: Lavi trying to Bed-  
La: NOTHING KANDA-DEAR  
K: You never call me by my last name unless you're being deadly serious, trying to hide something, or something's gone wrong  
La: . . . None of the above  
L: What do you mean by "Something's gone wrong"?  
K: Nothing  
La: He means this one time when we were doing it on Komui's desk and then-  
K: SHUT THE HELL UP USAGI  
L: Aww, he was getting to the good part. You know Kanda  
K: What  
L: You remember me trying to prove you were gay in chapter 4, I think you've proved it yourself now :3  
K: Stfu  
La: Yu, HOW COULD YOU DENY IT!  
K: There's nothing to deny!  
La: I THOUGHT WE WERE TOGETHER FOREVER! *Runs off crying*  
L: NOOOWWW look what you've done  
I: Wow, you're a real asshole  
G: I think he should be punished for that  
K: Err....  
L: And I, the writer, totally agree *Smirk*  
G: Bring on BDSM Bear  
K: Maybe I should start watching my mouth  
L: No need, I'm sure a ball-gag could be added to BDSM Bear  
K: Oh...fuck.

. . .  
L: And to think! KANDA IS STILL WEARING A DRESS!

* * *

**For those of you who think I am lying, I do actually own this bear. To see it: http: // theatreplode. /art/The-Bear-153940874 take out spaces**


	10. SUCKER!

**HELLO!~~~ i'm back, with more mini madness. There is actually a worth while warning in this: a TINY spoiler for -man chapter 192, theres like a word mentioned. BUT if you're a true DGM fan, you should of read it by now! (Unless you're new)**

**

* * *

  
**

L: I remember not having email...  
I: So do I, faintly  
La: What's email?  
L: Kinda like electronic mail.... I think  
I: How could you not know?  
La: I live in the 19th century  
L: But you have robots....  
La: That's true, must have skipped the simple stuff  
L: Hence why those robots never last

...

L: Oh My God, 23 slides on traffic control  
I: Where are you?  
L: An IT and Computing conference  
La: Better than doing this in biology?  
L: I can't decide  
G: Where's Kanda?  
L: Either emo-ing out due to the recent chapter OR  
G: Or?  
L: Still trying to get out of that dress  
La: NOOO! My Yuu-puu's brain!  
L: DON'T RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE! I haven't read it properly yet  
I: Why not?  
L: Iwas trying to do my hair  
I: ¬_¬ Girls  
L:. . . . Shut up

....

L: I'm not even paying- did you know "sucker" is a scientific term?  
La: it is?  
L: Something to do with cloning  
G: or blowjobs  
I: Grimmjow  
L: Don't worry, we all know Grimmjow likes sucking the juice out of strawberries  
I: O_O HUH!?!?  
L: Yup, Lavi saw  
La: I sure did!  
I: YOU TWO ARE AS BAD AS EACH OTHER!  
L & La: *grin*  
L: Is that an elephant strapped to a lorry?  
La: . . . As you do  
G: Who says I do the sucking?  
L: Hoo hoo hoo! It's all coming out now!  
La: Coming in more ways than one  
I: I have no idea what you're talking about

....

La: What was the cheer for?  
L: Teacher's phone went off  
La: Busted!  
L: All the IT and computing classes came together for that moment  
I: It happens to us all  
L & La: SUCKER!  
I: Fuck off

* * *

**Well Biology (and Ichigo) walked RIGHT into that one**


	11. The Mind of An Innocent

**I has been away for sooooo long, sorry sorry sorry, i've been busy! (K: yeah, busy being lazy L: shut it asshole!)**

**Well, this is more adulty themed, but if you don;t already know these words then, hell, what are you doing here? Get a life. Theres no sex and I don't think kanda swears (OMG)**

**Everyone is owned by their...owners..... sounds a little like prostitution.**

**P.S.: This chapter is dedicated to my friend Matt, he's such a prude, and theres some naughty words.**

* * *

A: MUWAHAHAHAHAHA  
L: What's up Allen?  
A: Grimmjow asked me "If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?" and I got it right!  
La: Err, Allen, Buddy, I don't think he was asking what you were thinking?  
A: Huh?  
K: Geez, even I know  
A: AH! It must be bad if even Kanda knows!!!  
I: GRIMMJOW!!  
G: What? What I do?  
L: ASKING POOR INNOCENT BOYS SUCH THINGS!!!  
A: I still don't get it!  
G: Ichigo never seems to mind  
I: HEY!  
L: Oh yeah, I forget Allen and Ichigo are the same age  
La & Kanda: THEY ARE?!  
A: You're 15 to? *_*  
I: Errr....  
La: WOW ALLEN, YOU'RE SO INNOCENT!!  
A: O_o  
G: Cock  
La: Penis  
G: Nipple  
A: *IS-BLUSHING-SO-HARD-HIS-FACE-IS-GOING-EXPLODE*  
L: I can't decide if this is a good idea or not  
La: Yu is pretty innocent to  
K: What!?  
L: Aww, ickle red cheeks *goes to pinch them*  
La: WOO! *Also goes to pinch them*  
K: *backs up*  
L: Come ba-a-a-ack~  
K: Never!  
La: *Holds him down*  
L: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I HAVE YOU NOW MY PRETTY!  
......

L: Where's Kanda gone?  
I: Sulking  
L: Why?  
I: No idea  
La: Are you alright Yu?  
K: *mumbles*  
La: What was that?  
K: m'...pret....  
La: Huh?  
K: M'...n...pre...  
La: LOUDER  
K: I'M NOT PRETTY!  
L: Yes you are~~~  
La: Aww, but in a manly way!  
K: I AM NOT PRETTY  
L: Someone isn't very comfortable with their sexuality....  
La: Can vampires get AIDS?  
K: Huh?  
L: What a digress  
La: Well, they drink blood and all, so why not?  
L: because they're Vampires and that's what they....do?  
La: Can you cry underwater?  
L: I'd imagine so  
La: If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?  
L: Yes  
K: HA!  
L: Did you just laugh at me?  
A: Did Kanda just laugh?  
K: Did Grimmjow get his head?  
A: *Blushes* I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS NOW SO SHUT UP!  
.....

L: Did Kanda just crack a joke?  
K: Shut up

* * *

**Hell just froze over**


	12. Serenade

**[EDIT] TO MY REVIEWERS (omg, always wanted to say that) THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! Its nice to know I can put a smile on people's faces :) just like you put a smile on mine when i get the little emails saying "REVIEW ALERT". I never expected that a piece of crap like this is actually read by people O_O seriously.**

**And we're back! with a special musical rendition!**

**Exams are starting soon, so I needed an excuse to procrastinate.**

**you're about to see some graphic images, those faint of heart should read :P**

**All characters and songs belong to their owners.**

* * *

L: And I need you now tonight  
La: And I need you more than ever  
L: And if you'll only hold me tight  
La: We'll be holding on forever  
L: And we'll only be making it right  
La: Cause we'll never be wrong together  
L: We can take it to the end of the line  
La: Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time  
L: I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
La: We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
L: I really need you tonight  
La: Forever's gonna start tonight  
L: Forever's gonna start tonight  
La: Once upon a time I was falling in love  
L: But now I'm only falling apart  
La: There's nothing I can do  
L: A total eclipse of the heart  
La: Once upon a time there was light in my life  
L: But now there's only love in the dark  
La: Nothing I can say  
L: A total eclipse of the heart  
K: Oh dear God  
La: I'm only singing for Yuu~~~  
K: GET THE HELL OF ME!  
I: Get a room  
L: NO! STAY! I WANNA WATCH!

K: You are one sick person  
L: No, you're just a prude  
G: You know, Lizi you're, like, the author  
L: You're point?  
G: You could just make Kanda sing  
K: WHAT!  
L: Oooo! What a brilliant idea!  
K: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!  
L: I do believe you have brains somewhere Grimmjow  
G: Whut?  
L: Nevermind... What shall he sing?  
K: IM NOT SINGING ANYTHING!  
L: WHO'S THE CHICK TYPING SMARTASS!  
La: Something wonderful that conveys his love for me  
L,K & G: . . . .  
G: That was...  
L: Soppy  
La: You typed it  
L: Shut it  
La: HEY HEY YOU YOU  
K: I don't like your girlfriend- STOP IT  
La: NO WAY NO WAY  
K: I think you need a new one- NO YOU DON'T  
La: HEY HEY YOU YOU  
K: I could be your girlfriend- IM A MAN DAMN IT  
A: I came in at the wrong time  
K: I was feeling done in, couldn't win. I'd only ever kissed before- IM NOT SOME HORNY VIRGIN  
G: You mean she? (K: I HAVE A PENIS, L: Well done)  
La: Uh-huh (K: What are you implying!)  
K: I felt there's no use getting, into heavy petting. It only leads to trouble and seat wetting.  
La: hur hur hur  
K: STOP IT  
L: Lavi seems to be enjoying this  
K: Now all I want to know, is how to go. I've tasted blood and I want more  
G & La: MORE MORE MORE! (K: STOP SINGING ALONG)  
L: AND WE SKIP TO CHORUS!  
K: NO! DON'T EVEN GO THER- Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a touch me, I wanna be dirty. Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me. Creature of the night.  
La: ho ho ho Kanda, I shall fulfil your request  
K: YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING!  
L: Spicing up your love life?  
I: More like destroying is reputation  
L:. . . . -_-  
I: Oh Crap, NO DON- Come here rude boy, boy, Can you get it up? Come here rude boy, boy, Is you big enough?  
G: *drool*  
L: Grimmjow looks like a dog in heat  
I: LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!  
L: Provided an odd image assortment for readers!

. . .

A: I'm lonely, oh so lonely, I have no body  
T: Yo  
A: NEVERMIND

* * *

**I can't get the image of Kanda in a bra and under skirt singing to Lavi in gold hot pants... neither can you now**


	13. A is for Apple

**I'M BACK I'M BACK I'M BACK. College is over so you woulda thought I'd of been bored recently, anyhoo! More randomness, I was trying to spark a conversation and it wasnt working so I had one with myself instead...yeeeaaahhhh... At least you can't complain I'm a boring person. I had previously been stating facts about oranges because the bar at the bottom of the screen flashes orange when you get a new message, I then suggested you should be able to get on messages to the flash, like saying "YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE DOUCHE BAG!"**

**Got my ticket for Aussie...I'm in the air for a total of 22 hours...on my own...EXPECT MANY UPDATES. But I don't fly out till 2nd September. **

**R is for Riley, my friend, the only one talking at the time.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own it...if you didn't know that you're a douche for not even knowing who writes the fandoms you search for on fanfiction, seriously, know your stuff.**

**

* * *

**

G: You've been left again

L: SHUT THE HELL UP

G: You serious about that idea?

L: Yup

G: get on with that picture of me!

L: I AM! I'm just trying to spark a conversation

G: By listing off facts about oranges?

L: Ichigo has orange hair

G: hmm, true, woulda been more fitting if it was red

L: It's "Strawberry Blonde"

G: It's frickin orange

R: Oi spikey hair

L: Yes Riley?

G: You have spikey hair?

L: Not at the moment

R: If you're trying to spark a convo I'm here

G: I think you've succeeded

L: Aren't you on your phone?

R: The moment

L: coming on the PC? You can join in on my conversation with the voices in my head

G: hey!

L: Shut the fuck up, I make the rules

R: You have me for now though

L: Done better than you, Riley, G is for Grimmjow

R: I thought it was for Gaylord:

L: OOOOo BURN TO GRIMMY

G: I'M NOT GAY

L: But you were talking about giving blowjobs to Ichigo a few chapters back

R: Course not

G: Thats what you typed

L: You're obviously not very convincing Grimmjow

R: Lol

G: Why are you always questioning our sexuality?

L: Why are you all so bothered?

G: . . . . Ichigo is pretty effeminate

L: . . . Hardly

G: ok, you got a point

I: I am here you know

L: Yup

G: we know

R: It's ok I thought l was for lesbian

L: LOL

I: I'M A MAN

L: I is for Ichigo

G: I thought Ichigo was a girl's name

I: IT CAN BE A BOYS TO!

R: Noo I meant L not l

G: HA!I: PAHAHAHAHAHAHA

L: -_-'

R: Lol I is incontinent

L: wellllll

I: O_o

G: What the hell runs through your head?

R: Lol

L: And I thought Grimmjow was bad

G: HEY! I'm a pervert, not disgusting

L: They sometimes go hand in hand

I: At least he has the decency to admit it

L: Don't give him a reason to be smug

I: Does he need a reason?

R: Lol

L: The bastard could find smugness in successfully cleaning the toilet

G: err...

L: I'm gonna be a bitch and add Nnoitra for this session

G: HUH

N: Yo

I:...ahem

G: DON'T ADD HIM

L: Why not?

G: HE TRIED TO KILL ME

L: Ichigo saved you

G: WHO'S GIVING WHO REASONS TO BE SMUG NOW?

N: At least you can see where they're relationship may of blossomed

L: that was uncanningly insightful of you Nnoitra

N: heh, theres more to me than meets the eye

L: You're too skinny for that to not be funny

I: I can't crack Grimmjow outta his daze

L: hmm, maybe this wasnt such a good idea

N: Has he fainted?

I: ...I think so

L: At the realisation that the Seme was beaten and saved by the Uke in an over-glorious fashion

N: What a blow

L: -_-' it was your fault Nnoitra

N: Heh maybeeeeeee

L: ICHIGO

I: WHAT?

L: TEMPT HIM WITH SEX

I: O_O

N: What have you brought me into?

I: *purr* Grimmjow...

L: works like smelling stuff that wakes people up

I: NO! GRIMMJOW! PUT ME DOWN!

L: More like Catnip

N:...

* * *

**Pray for mercy from PUSS! In boots.**

**I'm not ashamed to say that while I write these things, I imagine them naked. No joke.**

**Nnoitra isn't going to be a common occurance**

**N: Aww  
L: Shut up, you're dead. **


	14. Leprechauns and their Unicorns

**...hello...**

**"M" means "Megan"**

**I'm back from Australia now**

**Thought I'd do another one of these**

**If anyone wants to join in, they should email me or something btw, we can work something out maybe.**

**Disclaimer: I own no one, they go to their owners, if I owned them then this wouldn't of occurred. **

* * *

L: HA HA!  
M: CARAVANE!  
I: Caravane?  
G: Is that the same as Caravan?  
L: It's the translation, and a song  
M: My bra is puncturing my lung  
I: ...  
G: Then take it off  
I: GRIMMJOW!  
G: What?  
L: Ichigo can't handle bras  
M: I've taken it off now  
L: FLashdance style  
M: I feel so free!  
G: It's kinda like when you take your pants off  
L: No Grimmjow, just no

* * *

L: Feeling like a freak on a leash  
I: That pretty much explains it all  
L: Says a guy with orange hair, Gingerbread  
L: DON'T CALL ME THAT!  
G: Where is that Kanda guy anyway?  
L: That's a long story that I can't reveal incase someone hasn't read it yet  
I: You're too lazy to explain aren't you  
L: Yup

* * *

M: I'm worried I'm flashing somebody, but there's nobody else in the room  
L: There's me  
G: And me, and Ichigo  
I: I'm not part of this!  
G: Part of what?  
L: Are you looking up my friend's skirt?  
M: Is it hot in here or is it me?  
G: Is she even following our conversation  
L: Probably not

* * *

L: Megan was reading "Lady Chatterley's Lover" she wouldn't stop giggling  
G: Why?  
L: This book was originally banned for being too erotic, there was a more censored version  
I: What version do you have?  
L: The uncensored version  
G: Woman after my own heart  
I: Shut it Grimm  
L: I think Ichigo should read this book  
M: I have images of wilting penis', it's not a pretty sight  
G: Good thing I've never had that problem  
I: -_-  
L: Never used the "This has never happened before!" line?  
G: Never  
I: -_-  
G: WHAT!  
I: Nuthin'  
L: *snicker*

* * *

M: Why is there never a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow  
G: Have you ever looked for it?  
M: Yes  
L: I'm not surprised  
G: THE LEPRECHAUNS HAVE LIED!  
L: I spelt Leprechauns right!  
M: I'm impressed  
L: They aren't real  
M: Yes they are  
G: NEXT YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME SANTA ISN'T REAL  
L: He is  
I: There's just more than one of them  
G: Phew  
L: When shall we tell him?  
I: After the talk of the "Birds and the Bees"  
G: What about birds and bees?  
I & L: NEVERMIND

* * *

**What do birds and bees do?  
BEES STING! **


End file.
